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“For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
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OBJECTIVES
Identify types of expressions of anger
Examine the origins of anger and common anger triggers
Find out how to prevent patients from expressing anger inappropriately
Explore de-escalation techniques for angry patients
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Anger is defined as a strong, unpleasant, and uncomfortable emotional response to an unwanted provocation resulting from injury, mistreatment, or opposition (Schiraldi & Kerr, 2002). In our stress-filled culture, anger is everywhere. Television shows, movies, and music are packed with expressions of anger. Indeed, there is so much anger in our world today, future historians may well refer to this era as the “age of anger.”
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Anger is a normal human emotion. In fact, it is a self-protective survival instinct. Only when anger goes out of bounds does it become dysfunctional—sometimes destroying families, careers, and communities. Although anger cannot be eliminated from the human experience, it can be managed and controlled (Edwards & Loprinzi, 2018; Maiuro, 1987). Part of anger management is de-escalating anger—in ourselves and in others. That’s the focus of this chapter.
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TYPES OF EXPRESSIONS OF ANGER
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There are two types of expressions of anger: negative and positive. Negative expressions of anger come in various forms. One form is self-destructive anger. Examples of negative self-destructive angry behaviors include (Kassinove & Tafrate, 2002):
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Negative self-talk—for example, “You are so stupid. No one will ever love you!”
Taking everything personally
Assuming others are upset with them instead of listening to prevent misunderstandings
Excessive alcohol use
Taking drugs
Reckless driving
Looking for fights
Feeling outraged for even the most minor slight.
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NOTE
Negative self-talk also includes self-talk meant to escalate your anger, such as, “He hurt me on purpose!” or, “I’ll get her back!” These negative expressions of anger can cause an escalation in aggression or even violence.
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Another form of negative anger is uncontrolled rage—the kind that often explodes into violence. This type of out-of-control anger can result in very negative consequences, such as the following:
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Physical harm to yourself, a loved one, or others
Diminished physical or mental health (Nolan et al., 2003)
The destruction of property (which may bring with it significant legal and financial repercussions)
The loss of relationships with family members or friends
A poor reputation
The loss of a career
The loss of social privileges
Jail time (Kassinove & Tafrate, 2002; Morland et al., 2010)
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In contrast, positive expressions of anger are constructive. Examples of positive expressions of anger include airing grievances so they can be addressed immediately and problem-solving to address the issue that is causing the anger. Positive expressions of anger can also drive change meant to prevent people from feeling angry in the future. For example, addicts could become so angry ...